She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
