My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
