If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
