So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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