Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
