hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
