ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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