I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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