i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize