goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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