Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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