Fuck appropriateness.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
