You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
