His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
