So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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