i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
