she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
