he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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