just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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