you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
