Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
