Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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