why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
