I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
