there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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