You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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