Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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