Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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