i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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