I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
