dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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