I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
