I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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