Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sext me about skeletons
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
