Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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