wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
