I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
