I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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