3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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