I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you would pick up someone in the library
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
