I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize