Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
