fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
