she smelled like a LAN party
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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