I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
