I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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