Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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