every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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