dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
