i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
