I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
