I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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