Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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