and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
