O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize