im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
