i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
