I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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