Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
