First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize