you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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