i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
