HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
